why i live

i have been thinking alot lately...i am always in a constant evaluation of my life and where i've been and where i am going. i can look back at the last 12 years of my life and i am thankful for the experiences i have had, some really really good and some really really bad, but all beneficial...

i want so much, regardless of my good and bad experiences thus far, to help people and make my life count for people. i have recently been thinking of some moments i have had helping people how they have changed me. and to this day they remind me of who i am.

it's been a few years back but i remember coming home from work one day (long story short) and seeing 2 homeless guys coming down the street where i lived...it's as if i couldn't help it, my emotions are filled with compassion and reaction. my first instinct is to one tell them about jesus but two, help them with food or transportation, whatever. one was pushing the other in a wheelchair. the guy in the wheelchair was so drunk he didn't know where he was at. i stood there by my car and in my heart i want them to desperately have a normal life. i know i couldn't give that to them but i still felt that way. they looked really hungry as i assume most homeless people who are bone skinny are. i asked them if i could by them some food. the one that wasn't drunk asked if i was going to get the cops, i reassured him that i wasn't. i told them if they stay there i will go get them some food. i got in my car, drove to the nearest grocery store and bought them some food. when i got back they, thank God, were still there. my heart is overwhelmed at this moment because this really is all i could've done...i prayed with them to receive jesus, gave them there food, and said goodbye. they strolled on down the street to never be seen again...i often wonder what happens when you do something like that...where are they now, i guess i will never know. but one thing i do know is i was born for that moment in time, it was what i am living for!

all i can say is i am not trying to become like jesus to this world. i am not trying to figure out what jesus would do...He, jesus lives in me, therefore making me like him...i don't have to work or pray for it. and if i make myself aware of jesus in me i can't help but give love and compassion to someone. after all the church is the only jesus this world will ever see. i could be the only jesus someone like those homeless guys will ever see. i am getting more stirred than ever before to help people, love people, see people get saved and come to the greatest love of all...see them fed, help etc...

for those who have read this far i am really writing this for me. it reminds me of who i am and why i exist. it reminds of why i live and who i live for...i am constantly looking for open doors to give someone the gospel, to help someone move there house, to be a blessing to whoever needs something...this is why i live and this why i am here! for people...